Walls Between Us

This semester, Bryant and I have been taking a Preparing for Eternal Marriage institute class. (It's my 2nd time taking it, this time with my future hubby). 

It's been a super insightful semester, and I've loved learning all the little (and big) things that will help make our marriage stronger. Shout-out to Brother Irwin for his awesome class and hilarious stories. 

Last week, he changed direction in the course a little bit, and left a few of us a little surprised. But the reason why was so, so important and worth sharing. So here's a few little tidbits. 

He started the lesson by having all of us sit on the floor in a circle at the front of the room. We had just gotten comfortable in our seats, so the thought of moving again had a few of us a little bitter, but we listened. He began rolling the dice in his hand, and asked the class to shout out how many petals were on the rose. We were all confused, but we watched intently as he continued rolling. His goal was to have all of us go from the "out" group of not knowing what was going on, to all knowing what was going on, becoming the "in" group. 

Eventually the guys in the class began to understand what was happening, and the rest of the girls sat in confusion, trying to understand what he was getting at. It left me a little jealous because Bryant had been the second person to get it, and I was stuck trying to figure it out, with no luck. 

Brother Irwin then led a discussion about the ways this is happening in our world. So many in our world and in our very church have been offended by something someone else has said or done, and they can no longer love that person because they are just so upset. He asked us to think about that for a moment, and we proceeded to talk about how we have seen this very thing manifested in our lives. 

It really made me stop and think for a moment about how I have seen this so frequently in my life. Not just in the church, but with other people I either come in contact with, or have heard stories about. It also made me think about the times in my personal life where I have struggled and have put up walls because I chose to be offended, rather than love the people who had wronged me. His next point was just as inspired. 

He told the class that being offended is a choice. And some might get offended by that comment, but it is absolutely true. Being offended(or choosing to not be offended) is a choice we sometimes have to make every day. He closed the class by inviting us to pay attention to the walls we sometimes choose to build around ourselves, and to seek to keep those walls torn down. 

Later on that night, Bryant and I were past done with the day. It had been a long day of classes and homework, and I was just barely getting over being sick. We had one more stop to make before we were done in town, and I could tell Bryant had had it. 

To top it all off, I was reading my map directions wrong, and was leading Bryant in the wrong direction from the apartment we were supposed to meet at, so we both started yelling at each other. We kept saying we were both putting up walls, which led to more blame and disgust. Once we finally finished our last errand for the day, we had to apologize to each other several times because it had gotten that bad. 

From that day forward into this week, we've found that we continue to keep putting more walls up around each other, preventing us from the one thing we need a little more of each and every day. That wall prevented us from finding the LOVE we have for each other. And doesn't everyone deserve just a little more love? 

The conclusion from Brother Irwin's important lesson from that day was that we need to find in our hearts room for just a little more love. Every person we meet on the street or see in our classes is struggling with something. 

We owe it to ourselves and to God to be a little more kind, a little less selfish, a little more forgiving and a little more Christ-like. We owe it to ourselves as humans and mere mortals to admit that we've made mistakes, but to find it in our hearts to forgive those who have wronged us, and seek to find the good in others as well as ourselves. 

It's time to start tearing down the stone walls around our hearts, and make a little more room for peace to reside. After all, the world could use just a little more love. And it starts with ourselves. <3 

A Challenge to Women

About a month ago, President Russell M. Nelson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoke in the semi-annual general conference of the church. 

I, like every other member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, tuned into the broadcast in my pjs, wrapped in a blanket, notebook in hand, ready to see what he was going to say next. As some might say, the man is on fire. 

The conference itself was beautiful. The music, the spoken words, the spirit that was felt. 

I was super grateful for the insights I gained and answers to my questions were given in ways I didn't think about before. 

I had plans to go to the church to watch the Women's session... but decided to curl up on the couch next to my fiance' Bryant, eat some yummy food, and listen to the words of the apostles in the comfort of my own apartment. 

At the end of the conference, President Nelson invited sisters to do four important things: 

1. Participate in a 10-day social media fast and pay attention to the specific feelings and insights we gained from this experience. 

2. Read the Book of Mormon between now and the end of the year, and pay attention to and mark the verses that stand out and talk about the Savior. 

3. Establish a pattern of regular temple attendance, and seek to know more, understand more and feel more about temples than ever before. 

4. Participate fully in Relief Society and study the Relief Society purpose. 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/sisters-participation-in-the-gathering-of-israel?lang=eng

Almost right away as President Nelson was speaking about the social media fast, Bryant clicked on his phone, went into his social media apps and deleted the apps off of his phone right away. He turned to me and asked if I was going to do the same thing. 

I had an inkling that I would, but was still hesitant. I had excuses such as my work with the Statesman needed attention and I needed to use social media, that our wedding photographer and I only talk on Insta messaging, what if I miss the cute baby pictures of all my friends or miss another person I know making awesome milestones in their lives. I just kept thinking of all I would miss. 

Until... I was aimlessly scrolling through Instagram, and literally like a domino effect soon after the conference, every single friend of mine that knew anything about the challenge or had watched President Nelson's talk said they were taking a break from social media because they were choosing to listen to a prophet's voice. 

That led me to think, what the heck am I doing? Why am I not willing to drop everything and follow President Nelson's council? Isn't his voice just as important as the Lord's himself? 

The day after the conference, my friends Shelby, Alexa and I were talking about the council we were given, and I was interested to hear of their responses. 

As we talked, I had several thoughts that were similar to Alexa and Shelby. Right then and there, I decided there were no more excuses. I listened to President Nelson's talk again right at that moment, trying to pick up on the main reasons I was participating in the fast, and why it was going to be good for me. 

At first it was a little hard. I fought temptations of getting back on and ditching the whole fast altogether. It was hard to find other things to occupy my time, because I was always using social media as my distraction. I had plenty of other things I could have been doing, and had a really hard time staying away from those distractions. 

Within the next couple days, I was listening to conference talks at work, seeking to get something out of the talks that I may not have thought about previously. I started noticing how I was feeling and how eliminating social media made me feel personally. 

It honestly got a whole lot easier as the days went on, and by day 10 of the fast, I really wasn't missing social media all that much. 

I noticed as I was sitting on the Aggie Shuttle one day that literally almost everyone around me was on their phones. It's kind of like a mind-less addiction that takes over our lives really without thinking much about it. I sat in silence on the shuttle, my phone tucked away in my pocket enjoying the moment without my phone to distract me. I felt at peace. 

I kind of thought... what if everyone just took their eyes away from their screens just a little bit more, and spent more time devoted to things that really matter most? 

What would the world look like then? 
What would our attitudes be towards each other, our families and our goals for now and in the future? 

For me personally, I've been able to devote more time to my studies and the learning process. I am constantly fascinated time and time again by the amazing subjects I get to study, and the remarkable professors and faculty that I am able to learn from. 

I've been able to remain more present and in the moment as I go throughout my day to day life. Work is more fulfilling as I am able to make conversation with my co-workers and have pleasant conversations and moments full of laughter, instead of trying to drown out the silences with music blasting through headphones. School is less of a drag and more of an exciting, worthwhile experience. 

I'm hoping that as a result of this fast, I will be able to come to myself and more fully embrace my face to face interactions and friendships with those around me. I hope to be able to spend more time in nature, and to become more appreciative of the world I get to live in and those that I get to live it with. 

I'm super grateful for President Nelson's challenge, and for his wise words of council to the women of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding this prophetic council. It has forever blessed my life and has helped me become a better person. 

Now my only question is... how will you apply President Nelson's council in your life? Will YOU take his challenge? 

Just Slow Down

This is post #2 for my Nutrition class and my second time listening to the Body Love podcast with Jessi Haggerty.  

  

For this assignment I chose to listen to Episode 045 with guest Dr. Laura Douglass https://www.jessihaggerty.com/blog/blp46  

  

This episode was particularly interesting, and talked a lot about presence in the body, and taking time to really understand the meaning behind the body and what it is trying to tell you as a human being.  

  

I was particularly drawn to this episode because of some of the experiences I have personally had with my own body that have given me an additional perspective into this subject.  

  

As a writer for The Utah Statesman, my team and I had an opportunity to visit the energy healer Spencer Watson at the Millennial Wellness studio a year ago this month. A link to my experiences is shared here. http://usustatesman.com/body-talk-body-experience/ 

  

Dr. Laura Douglass talks about how she works professionally with students and veterans in a positive learning environment, and how important it is to slow down and listen to the body in the moment with them.  

She talks about how all learning happens in the body, and the neuro-chemicals and feelings that occur in the brain. She talks about the neuro-connections that are made in the learning process, and how the body's functional movements and connections to things in the world. She mentions that experiences happen in the body first. She said that it is super important to take a step back and learn how to care for ourselves and what our bodies need in the ever-increasingly busy world we live in, and finding things to help individuals do that.  

Douglass expresses that a lot of the mindfulness we should be seeking can be found by first finding ways to trust in our bodies. This often leads to an existential way of thinking, in connection with religion or even yoga. I connected well to the connection of religion, because I am a religious person. She talks about how she has had to tell a lot of people that "they are just fine just the way they are."  

Being happy with our bodies starts with being happy and finding a way to be content where we are right now, knowing that this life is extremely fragile and won't be where we will stay forever. 

I loved that Douglass expressed that mindfulness is an entrance to the soul, and that we are our bodies. I kind of took this podcast as a hint to find more mindfulness within my own life and learn how to be more present in the moment.  

As a child that comes from a busy family, I know what it's like to be out of touch with my body, because I am someone who is constantly running. Because of this podcast, I want to find ways to personally learn how to be more mindful, and how to find peace within my own body and be more centered. 

  

BodyLove Project

This semester I am taking an Intro to Nutrition class, and it's been a mind-blowing experience this far.  

 I decided to listen to a podcast called "BodyLove". The episode I chose to listen to was called  

https://www.jessihaggerty.com/blog/blp17 "Katie Dalebout on Healing Through Journaling, Dealing with Bad Body Image Days, and Being Uncomfortable."  

This podcast really spoke to me in several different ways, so I chose to break it down into a few smaller topics, based on my comparisons of what I got from the episode.  

 BODY IMAGE 

In high school and growing up, I always felt a little inadequate when compared with other people.  I was an average weight for my height. Not underweight, not overweight. Just average. And that was okay with me. I maintained an active teenage lifestyle and felt okay with life.  

 Now, as a 22-year-old engaged to the love of her life, my mindset has changed. I still fight the feelings of being inadequate in comparison to those around me. I still struggle with the cultural acceptance of what a pretty girl is.  

I've learned that being pretty and feeling good about yourself is more about how you personally feel and not how others perceive you. As long as you're happy with who you are and what you are, that should be all that matters.  

 My fiance' Bryant has helped me combat those feelings of inadequacy. He has given me a sense of self-confidence back that had been destroyed before I met him. That had been shattered because of my failed relationships with other people, which egg-ed me on for self-pity. I thought that my failed relationships were because I wasn't the stereotype of what I was sure at the time every guy wanted.  

 Katie talks about how "being cognizant and accepting the realization of gradual progress of who we picture ourselves being is going to take TIME." I absolutely agree. It is something that isn't going to happen overnight and isn't going to happen without putting in the necessary work.  

 RELATIONSHIP TO FOOD 

I can say that college has personally shaped how I feel about food. As my college years have progressed, I’ve found a healthier relationship to food than I’ve ever had before. I’ve realize that eating healthier has made me a brand-new me.   

 Now as I'm preparing to become a wife, I've found that I not only eat a lot healthier, but I have a strong desire to eat healthier. Bryant and I have fun making food in the kitchen together, laughing together, joking about each other's cooking, and genuinely enjoy one another's company.  

I feel that I am beginning to feel like I can love myself again, especially as I start a new chapter and adventure in my life. I'm excited to start learning how to be comfortable with my body just the way it is.  

 Shout-out to Jessi with the BodyLove podcast for her awesome guests and for Katie for giving me the confidence to journal it out and be the best version of myself I know how to be.  

  

God's Awareness of Our Needs

God is super aware of our needs, even when we don't think he is.

I've been a part of the Girls State program in Idaho for 6 years now, and what an incredible 6 years it's been. I couldn't imagine my life without such an amazing program. My life has been changed, and I'd like to think I've been a part of that change for many other girls I've had the opportunity to mentor.

I'd managed to convince myself that I would be that forever media co-chair or forever Junior Counselor that would stick to the position that I knew best, and wouldn't ever have to level up. (even though I knew that would never be true.)

I remember emailing the director for this year, and as she asked me which areas I wanted to work in, I told her I would love to be a Junior Counselor or Counselor in Training. She told me she would try to make it work, but she kept telling me that I would most likely be a counselor this year. I had a really hard time believing that someone with as little Junior Counselor experience as I had would be a counselor so soon. I couldn't believe they were going to put me in charge of a whole city of girls. It's quite a charge for someone so young. In fact it took a whole lot of the Girls State community standing behind me cheering for me to help me realize that I could do it. That I had power and that I would be able to help these girls.

It wasn't until I got the phone call yesterday that I realized this was something I could do. That I'd had the skill set and drive all along to be able to help these girls realize their strength that I didn't think I possessed before. I feel connected to a group of girls I haven't even met yepotential.The stress and anxiety I'd been feeling for so long melted away. The feelings of love that followed were incredible. I felt at peace. I felt like I had been given a strength I didn't possess before. I started feeling at peace. I feel so much love for them, and I won't even know their names until right before Girls State this June.

I share this because I feel it connects on a deeper level to my personal life as well. My bishop and his sweet wife led a really good discussion in our ward Relief Society today, that focused on the devotional given by Elder Uchtdorf last month to the young adults of the church. I hadn't read it before church, but the comments that were shared by Bishop and Sister Nielsen were so good, I knew that the rest of the talk would be one I definitely needed in my life at this exact moment. So I came home after an emotional day of church, and listened to the talk. I was right. It was exactly what I needed.

Elder Uchtdorf shared many personal insights of how our lives and our situations are connected dot by dot. The dot we are currently at in life is connected by dots of our past experiences. One dot by one dot, we find that the places we've been and the experiences we've had lead us to our future dots, and the dots we are currently at in our life journey.

I found this to be particularly accurate of my leadership journey and why Girls State has greatly impacted me getting there. Meeting one particular counselor who told me about the Junior Counselor program, and had me hooked from the first sentences. My experiences as a Media Co-chair for so many years, coupled with my year and a half of Junior Counselor experiences under the direction of two awe-inspiring counselors, led me to this point.

I've been prepared all along for this specific experience. I've been shaped and molded in all of my experiences, up to this point. I just had to wait for God to shift the little things into place at the right time and in the way he needed to. <3