Writing: It's a Magical Thing!

  

The way to a girl's heart is to hand her a pen. It isn't about that sappy chick flick that one can cuddle up to their significant other with, or the dark chocolate she loves so much. It isn't about the sports she has spent half her life trying to perfect without making the team, or the music she listens to that makes her smile. Sure, all those things fit in somewhere for some people, but for one girl in particular, all she needs is a pen, and a notebook, and off she goes, ready to take on the world, one story at a time.

To me, writing is magical. It unlocks doors I would have never imagined. It gives me a chance to express myself the way public speaking doesn't. Taking all the thoughts from the jumbled-up mess inside my head and eloquently putting them on paper in a way that can be understood is magical. I have listened to a lot of classmates and friends tell me that they hate writing, or refuse to write unless they absolutely have to, which kind of makes my heart sad for them. But through experience, I’ve learned that writing is an art form that has to be worked on constantly in order to perfect it, much like working in theater, or with culinary arts, or with paints or pastels. Writing isn't something that everyone excels at. To anyone else, it’s a wonder one would call writing magical. But to me, I know it’s magical, because I have experienced its power for myself.

As a young child, I loved reading. I fell in love with books the way two people fall in love. Magic Tree House, Princess Diaries, and so many others. I wanted to know how authors had these magic touches that made their writing come to life. As I grew up, I like any other child, had the typical elementary school and middle school experience. I was teased, picked on, and often friendless. I lost friends, friends moved away, and a lot of the time, I was on my own. Some of these experiences touched my heart and left an impact upon me so greatly, that I wanted a chance to explain how I felt, but with no one there to listen, there really wasn't a way to express the feelings I had to embrace alone on a daily basis. My journal became my best friend, and the way to escape what I had kept hidden from the rest of the world. Truthfully that’s how it all began. With not a clue as to who those thoughts would be read by, or why I had the strong desire to write them down, I just did it, no questions asked.

 What started out as a writing session with my journal every so often by myself, eventually changed into something much greater. With the amazing opportunities that the 4-H Program has to offer, my writing skills increased dramatically. At the ripe young age of 14, I had the opportunity through 4-H to apply for a leadership position as a Reporter. When I found out that I had been accepted, I was thrilled. It turned out to be such an amazing experience, and the rewards were even sweeter. The skills that I developed while being a Reporter have paid off in so many ways.  I have since served as a Newsletter Editor, and now serve as a Reporter for a State 4-H Newsletter throughout the state of Idaho.  Since the starting point of my so called "writing career", I have had over 20 articles published in various 4-H newsletters. Instead of writing for just myself, I am now writing for myself with the ability to tell stories for other people. I have also grown to have such adoration for the subject of English, and the writing that comes with it, while making essays and stories come to life with a few intriguing words, and intricate spellings. Without 4-H, I probably wouldn’t have fallen in love with writing, or found a new hobby of collecting notebooks, pens, and stationary. I probably wouldn’t be so edit happy about correcting spelling on various billboards, or on my younger siblings’ homework. But that’s okay, because someone has to do it, so why can’t it be me?

Writing has a way of invigorating the soul and exciting the mind, and has taken me on an incredible journey.  The best part is, it's only just beginning, and that's magical. As I look back on the past years, as my friends have either grown apart from me, moved away, or life simply just happened, the one thing that has stayed constant and consistent to keep me a float the waters of insanity is the ability that I have to write and express myself through words.  When I have a bad day I don’t always turn to the few best friends I have to cry on their shoulders. Sometimes I just can’t seem to find the words. But somehow, with my journal and a pen in hand, the words suddenly magically start to flow from my mind and onto paper, and I feel at peace again.  I can't wait to see where this magical world of writing can and will take me in the future as I start off in my second year of college with a major of Communications and Journalism. I also hope to be able to share my passion for writing in a way that others will be able to find the magic it possesses, in their own lives and unique situations. 

Thank you for your time in reading this essay, and best of wishes for the winner of this contest!

kortni.marie.wells@aggiemail.usu.edukortni.marie.wells@aggiemail.usu.edu

My RollerCoaster of a Summer

Words cannot express the roller coaster I have been on for the past three-four months of my life. I had so much going for me, when it all came to a halt. I was ready to take on the summer, enjoy everything that life threw at me, and just live life to the fullest. Little did I know, Heavenly Father had different plans for me, that didn't go the way I had anticipated at all. But, as I changed my outlook, my attitude changed as well, for the better.

First of all, when I said I had a lot going for me, I meant that I had applied for a 4-H internship, had an interview lined up, and was hoping to spend my summer with one of my most favorite 4-H adults in Morgan County, Morgan Utah. And for those of you who know how much 4-H means to me, you would understand why I desired this internship so greatly. But if you don't know how much 4-H means to me, just check my Facebook. It's everywhere. So, anyways, as the end of my freshman year at Utah State winded down to the last little wire, I knew I had a decision to make. I could either try to live within my means for a few weeks until the interview would come up, or I could go home to Idaho until I had a chance to be called back for the interview, and go from there. Either way it wasn't a very ideal situation, especially without a car...or a driver's license.  I tried to be calm and peaceful about the situations at hand, with some tough criticism following behind me the whole way. After several priesthood blessings, several prayers, and some deep breaths, Heavenly Father came to the rescue and answered the questions I desperately needed answers to. I was moving home to Burley, Idaho for the summer, and my residency for Utah State would start over in the fall, When and If I returned to school.

Moving home was probably one of the most difficult trials I have ever experienced. The criticisms followed me, in a little bit of a different light. Almost everyone I talked to thought I was done with Utah State, and was moving home to attend CSI. The questions flew up at me any occasion they could, and are still continuing. There were times I knew I was headed back to Logan, and there were times(in the past week), where I thought maybe I was headed on a mission and wouldn't be back at USU for a while. I couldn't get the negativity to leave me alone. It made me think of my early returned missionary friends, and made me wonder if that was the same criticisms and questions they were getting from peers, and trusted adults too. I was so excited to move home, find a job, and get right to work saving for my educational goals. Boy was I wrong. The job search has taken me through so many different loopholes up, down and upside down in knots. And yet it still continues.  I often found myself in tears, or super emotional in those weeks that followed me soon after I went home. Most all of my friends are on missions, or away at college, or still living close to Logan. I felt so alone most of the time that pity parties were pretty much the norm. I didn't want anyone else to see of the confusion I felt, because I knew I was where I belonged. Yet, I had the support system I needed from my parents, ward members, singles ward, and other acquaintances that made the transition just a little bit smoother. It also helped me feel at peace to know that I could save money to attend school, without paying summer rent, while also getting my finances in order.

But probably the best experience of my summer thus far, and the greatest reasons for coming home this summer, was to attend Girls State. Words can't express how amazing this program is, or the benefits that come from being a volunteer. (more to come on that later.)

If I had my choice, I probably would have still been in Logan for the summer. Harsh I know, but I knew that Logan is where I feel the most peace, and would make the most progress. Burley is still a place of refuge and hope to me, don't get me wrong, but things happen when you leave home, that make you want a change, something new, and an opportunity to branch out and see new places that you haven't been able to see before. That's what Logan, Utah is for me. But there have been some definite positives to this summer experience, that I can't forget to mention.

First, I have a chance to rekindle relationships that I lost while away at school. Best friend(s), parents, siblings, and my baby sister. Second, I discovered how the Spirit best speaks to me, which is really  in a number of different ways. Third, I learned how to rely upon the feelings of my heart whole-HEARTedly and follow through with promptings. Fourth, I have learned how to ask for help and be dependant on other people in times of trouble as an independent young woman such as myself often has trouble doing. Fifth, It made me realize that I will always have somewhere to go if times get tough and a support system always behind me. Sixth, I am finally learning how to drive, which is something I wouldn't have even Tried to learn in Logan on my own. Seventh, I am a pro at filling out job applications, (I mean, after like fifteen of those things, you start to catch on pretty quickly). Eighth, I'm learning to love the sunshine, and my tan lines, with a new appreciation for the outdoors while working for my grandparents. Ninth, I'm learning new definitions for the word patience, Literally. In every sense of the word... and Tenth, I'm learning how to be a better person for myself, a better friend to others, and a better Daughter of God each and every day! The Lord works in mysterious ways, and for that I am grateful!

The biggest part of this trial is that I have learned to trust in the Lord and his timing No Matter What.
I couldn't have asked for a better trial, or learning experience for this summer, and myself. All that's left to say is, Let the Rollercoaster continue. I'm ready for what's headed my way next!

The Journey of a Thousand Steps(or more)

A year ago this past weekend, I was moving to Boise for six weeks to be a Page in the Idaho Legislature. From starting out on a journey and not knowing what would become of it, I soon realized that I was on a road of self-discovery, and happiness that I hadn't felt before. I was changing... For the better. 

When I say I had no idea what would become of my experience... I was serious. I was absolutely clueless. I knew that I was in for a great treat, and that somehow it would be the best decision I would make at that time in my life. My friends that took the same journey before me mentioned that. But, it was also up to me to decide what to make of my journey. 

I started out as a page not knowing what would happen, but kept going. The work got harder, the days sometimes got longer and the homework away from home got harder too. Little did I know that after six short weeks away from home I would long for Boise and my friends again. The beautiful marble floors of the capitol, the echoing laughter, the donuts and so so much more. 

I also had an opportunity to meet people outside of my Capitol experience, that left an imprint on my heart. The SummerWind ward young women, for their amazing examples, and fun times together. (Abby and Andrea, for all the fun boy conversations, and for the opportunity to share of your sweet spirits, and getting to go to Sweethearts with you!) 

And for the Rogers Family, with whom my page experience would not have been complete. Giving me a place to stay, feeding me heavenly and delicious food, allowing me to be with your family, helped ease me into living away from home for college. I gained a deeper love and appreciation for the gospel and of family in general. I am so grateful to have been able to have Trish and BJ as my adoptive parents for six weeks. They helped me through a rough patch and gave me encouragement all along the way. It is nice to be friends with such an amazing family. And to also be an older sister to a whole new family as well. I loved being able to sit with Auston and talk about life, like I would with my own brother, or have Ava follow me around the house, fall asleep on me, and become like another baby sister to me. I wouldn't trade that experience for the world! I gained a whole new adopted family, that seriously became my second family💜

Now that it's been a year, I still laugh, and reflect deeply upon that life changing experience that has forever left an imprint upon my heart. My heart is full as I think about the journey of year ago, that forever changed me, and gave me happiness that I wouldn't have been able to experience any other way. 

Walking in those big heavy golden doors brings me butterflies every time! I am so grateful for such an amazing experience and for all of those who were there to experience it with me. I miss it so so so so so much and would do anything to have that experience back again. 
P.S. Is it time for a reunion yet? 😜❤️ 
#thepagelife #oneyearago #capitol #friendsofalifetime #reunionanyone? #please? #prettyplease? #redsweatervests #amazingfood #scones #downtownboise #ohthememories #senate #pagingfordayz

The Influence of People

The whirlwind of stress comes in almost like a subtle raindrop, quiet and unnoticed. Suddenly, surrounded with blackness and dust, it begins to choke out the victims in its path, until it has conquered and won the battle it set out to achieve.

As I look back on my semester, I can remember the exhilaration of being in a new place, mixed with anxieties of meeting new people, school anxieties and being on my own in the middle of everything. Of course there were a lot of new challenges to go through, and my faith in the Lord increased greatly, as it was sometimes the only thing helping me conquer the great challenges in my wake.

Although this was a couple weeks ago, I felt that it as worth sharing, in case someone out there needs to hear what I feel impressed to share. Finals week for me was stress, the holding back of incessant tears, endless nights of staying up late to study, anxiety, and lots of headaches. I thought for sure there couldn't be anything worse, except for a few things: like labor(something I haven't experienced yet), or a root canal(also haven't experienced) or getting a cavity filled(experienced) or a broken heart(experienced). 

Anyways, the point of this post was not to go on and on about how miserable finals made me, or how I wish I didn't have to take tests ever again.... but rather to bring home something that made my finals week just a little bit better. I have often been told that the Spirit and the Lord often works through other people. I have felt and experienced that many times. But this week, it occurred more than once, one day after the other.

One such message received describes: 

"I thought of you when I read these scriptures. D + C 121:7-8 and 122: 7. After reading this I can't help but think of rainstorms and rainbows. After a storm we always look for the rainbow! It symbolizes beauty and the start of something new! God promised us that he would never flood the earth again and to symbolize that he gave us gorgeous rainbows! Just like he promises us that he will never give us something without a way to get through it! Each rainbow represents a new chapter in our life! When a storm hits it sometimes lasts longer than expected and we start to feel like we are flooding/ drowning but he is our life jacket/ rescuer! He will calm the storm and then we will see the rainbow and the importance of that storm!"

So... to my YSA Relief Society President who makes me laugh... to the friends I have made in Logan that are much older and wiser than me.... to those in my ysa ward who strike up a conversation with me that I haven't gotten to know very well... to my friends in different places for college who continuously keep in touch with me... to the adults who keep me going... to my family who still loves me even if I am not around... and to countless others I can't name or Ill be typing all day(and it's two in the morning) I can't say thank you enough.

Maybe who I should thank more is a loving Heavenly Father who put such loving people in my path that show me the way I need to go, the pathway paved for me, in the direction I need. I can't imagine a life of loneliness, because I have a cheering section who has yet to give up on me in 18(almost 19) years... and I still have a long road ahead, so bear with me!

Again, thank you for all of you amazing and wonderful influences in this crazy thing called life. I couldn't have done it without you! I have recently discovered that the greatest influence on each and every one of our lives, is the influence of good people, who encourage us that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, there is alwAys a chance to start over and make the life that YOU want and there will always be a cheerleader somewhere along the Rocky and steep path you climb, that will help you fight the good fight and be there til the end.

And now I end with just one question. Who are YOUR cheerleaders fighting with [YoU] til the end of your days?! I've found mine. Have you found yours? :)

Confessions of a Social Butterfly

Guys, I have a blog! And maybe a confession or two to make.
Okay, so I am NOT shy. At all. That stopped when I was like... ten? Or fourteen? And this is coming from the girl who was scared of sheep and Santa Clause as a little girl.... if that tells you anything. Even farm animals scared me.

 I can't truthfully actually remember when I came out of my shy "turtle shell" so to speak. I simply just broke out of the shell, from the mold, and life went on from there. I was happy and content and completely comfortable being around people and introducing myself to others. I wanted to get to know new people and branch out on my own. I realized people gave me a place where I wanted to be. I longed for people constanfacebook.comtly. Saying goodbye to people broke my heart and still does. (I HATE goodbyes)

As I moved away from home, my friends moved on, I said see you later to my siblings and the life I had known, I realized a lot of changes began happening within myself. I felt a little drawn back into my shell, not knowing nearly as many people as I would have if I had chosen BYU Idaho. I look around on campus and see unfamiliar faces, and know it's okay not to be constantly looking for that one familiar face in the crowd, just to feel comfortable with my surroundings.

Life isn't about getting too comfortable. It's about constant change and making connections. I feel that I am very people-oriented, like I said before. But, I have slowly come to learn that I don't have to connect with people 24/7, or always be around them. School comes first, which was an incredibly hard lesson for someone like me to learn. In the recent weeks, I have learned to be more comfortable about retracing to my own little shell. My first month of college was focused on the social "buzz" of Utah State and finding friends fast. I longed to spend almost all my time with them. Laughing together, hot tubbing, you name it, I wAnted involved.

I have come to accept the consequences of my actions (poor grades) and committed almost immediately to do better. In this second month of college life, I have realized Things needed to change. I started to become more drawn to my apartment, my bedroom, silent thinking, walks from campus to my apartment and quiet time. Which hasn't ever really been me. But, as I have come to accept that time isn't slowing Down, I began feelings that this is what I need. Right here. Right now. This contemplation time and deep thinking could be something that brings valuable results later on in life, for pondering and a special bonding time between a heavenly father and his daughter.

So, I have come to realize, it's okay to be an introvert. It is sometimes often necessary just to take a day away from studying and the distractions of the world. It's okay to decline dates or friend time. It's okay to put the social butterfly back in her cocoon for a day to allow her room to mature, reconnect and grow stronger than anyone ever thought she could. And as I have learned, you don't always have to be the most social butterfly in the room to be the most respected. <3