#ThankARetailWorker

On nights I can't sleep, I write blog posts. Mainly to clear my head so I can sleep, and mainly because I love being able to refer back to the random thoughts or experiences I've had, that maybe others can relate to. Today happened to be one such experience.

As I mentioned in my last post, I work retail. It's almost kind of a thankless job that is kind of underappreciated. Especially today in our commercialistic society. I just made that a word. You're welcome. Of course, there are all different kinds of retail, and I'm sure that each individual retail "entity" could spend forever talking about their different protocols and set of rules that needs to be followed, but that isn't what I wanted to talk about.

Out of all the jobs I've had, retail has been the most straining, most mentally challenging, and equally the most frustrating. I spend many days, and sometimes nights wondering why in the world I chose to apply for a retail position. I question why I chose to do something that would require me to be away from my family on holidays, that would take me away from a social life at night, unable to meet any new people except for the occasional new coworker, or even just spend a night in, to myself, to be able to think, breathe, and take a break from the world. Why would I do that to myself, when "there had to have been something else out there for me?"

I work retail, because I love my job. I love the customers satisfied faces when they get a good deal on their favorite scents. I love the interactions I get with perfect strangers. I love the challenge of helping my store reach our sales goals. I love creating a masterpiece, so to speak, and watching all of the associates work together, and use their own aesthetic skills to complete something that no one else would have thought would take hours upon hours of work. I love the satisfied collection of sighs that come from the employees at the end of a floor set, complete with high fives and compliments.

Retail has helped me in so many ways. I've learned to problem solve, to ask questions when I need help, instead of just assuming my way is right, to step out of my comfort zone, and to be polite. Customer service is huge in an industry that claims to be in the top of the entire world for their sales, and performance. One wrong move can get one person fired, or put an entire store or district in jeopardy. Someone else is always watching. I have learned to accept every negative interaction as just another learning experience, and a chance for me to grow and learn more, and "do better next time." Sacrifice becomes something deeper than yourself.For me, it became a part of my personality. I learn how important it was to put others and their needs and desires above my own. I continue to learn how to keep positive relationships with my co-workers, even when days are frustrating, or I feel like I am unable to relate to them.

Not every day, or every hour of work has been perfect. I am not always smiling at every second. I am not always the most friendly or sincere person. I struggle talking to strangers politely. I cringe at the fear of not being able to help someone in their shopping experience.Which often leads me back to the question, "Why do you work retail."

I work retail because it's a chance for me to learn something new. I work retail to challenge myself, my abilities, and to put a smile on someone's face. I work retail because I enjoy the fastpaced environment, the buzz of activity, and to have something to do or work towards. I work retail to understand what it will be like to work in a fast-paced career field, full of complete strangers, that I will have the opportunity to interact with. I work retail to satisfy another's needs above my own. I work retail because it's something I enjoy, and know that I can do well at, with the right amount of effort.

While at work on Saturday, I had a really crummy start to my shift. We were really busy, because of our sale going on that day, and I just found that I wasn't feeling good, and wasn't in the best of moods. Eventually my manager asked me to move from cashier to the sales floor for the rest of my shift. I calmly agreed, and tried to do my best to help customers. Eventually, I approached a gentleman in the store who kind of looked like he might have been looking for help. He made eye contact me, and asked, "Do I look like a shopper? I'm just in here to follow my wife around." We chuckled for a minute and I said, "Just doing my job!" He caught me off guard and before I could turn to walk away, he gave me a pat on the back telling me,"You're doing a heck of a job with your customer service." I literally almost burst into a puddle of happy tears. I've said this before, but the little things people do or say to retail workers really do end up being the biggest things that we remember at the end of the day.

As the holiday season gets closer, I just want to challenge everyone reading this to personally thank a retail worker. We are doing our best to ensure that you get the best customer service we can provide, and we want you to walk away feeling satisfied with your service, products, and with a smile on your face. Help us keep a smile on our faces during our long work days, and give us something to remember at the end of the day when we finally get to "put our feet up." We would do the same thing for you, if you were a retail worker. Also, feel free to pass this hashtag along during the busy holiday season, and remember, please thank a retail worker!   #thankaretailworker

The Fight to Become

   I felt the need to share a special experience I had yesterday. In case anyone was wondering... I work retail. Okay okay hold your gasps til the end. I know. For those of you who haven’t seen the behind the scenes of Retail, it’s crazy. There are a million protocols you have to follow, and if you don’t, they can get you fired right on the spot. It’s interacting with customers from the time you clock in to the last minute right before you leave. It’s putting a smile on your face, even when a customer is not incredibly nice to you. It’s being friendly to people you don’t know, when you’d rather spend your entire shift making sure product is facing the right direction and that the shelves are full.

  

  Retail is hard. It’s one of THE hardest jobs I’ve ever had. The only jobs that can even relate to the hard work I face now, is the time I spent working in the Idaho State Senate, Working as a Junior Counselor for Girls State, and the time I spent working for my grandparents and raising my dairy heifers for Fair Season every year for three years. Those are all different forms of hard work. The most challenging days of my job revolve around the busiest seasons of the year; Black Friday and the Semi-Annual Sales. And yet, I’m still surviving.

Yesterday, I walked into work at 9:30 pm, knowing I wouldn’t leave until 2:30 am. I attempted to keep a smile on my face, considering it was so late, and my recovery process for my ribs makes things like lifting boxes less than enjoyable. When I got my table assignment, I discovered I would be working alone for the first time in my time since I started working there. It gave me a lot of time alone and time to think and meditate, which I tend to do often. While working, I felt like my boss had all her eyes on me every second, afraid I would do something wrong. That kind of took a toll on my self-esteem, and left my brain with less than desirable thoughts at the time.

Since our store doesn’t play music after hours, we either bring headphones, or jam out to the music playing outside of our store in the rest of the mall. As I continue on, trudging through the store, all of a sudden, I hear Fight Song by Rachel Platten playing outside. Not only do I automatically start singing along because of Girls’ State memories, but a smile came to my face in an instant. I was suddenly happier, work went a lot smoother, and I was able to make it through the end of the shift without wanting to cry.

While I was at work, I told one of my friends she could “spam” me, or essentially continue to send me texts, even though I couldn’t answer or see them until I made it back to my apartment. As I’m laying in bed reading them, she sends me the most inspirational thought along with the lyrics to “A Broken Wing” by my favorite country music artist of all time, Martina McBride. Earlier that night, I had shared a very difficult and painful experience I had from this year, and her response had me in tears.

“Kortni, you’ll absolutely SOAR. And I can’t wait for that day. All that negativity in your life made you so much stronger. I noticed, whether you realized it or not, that what this person was telling you made you even more sure of yourself and what you wanted to do, and what you’re supposed to do. Those trials made you sooooo much stronger. No matter what people put you through, even with a broken wing, you still sing. And you fly. To places the haters never even thought possible. But you're proving them wrong every single day. Showing them that you CAN. It’s such an example to me. I love you Kort. Each heartache and glimpse in your life that you give me helps me more than you could ever know.”

Every experience I have had, either good or bad, has brought me to today. Sometimes those less than desirable thoughts are what consumes me, and some of those thoughts have left me with unexplained heartache and painful memories. I have fought with these feelings for close to five years. My happiness and joy from before is slowly starting to return to my being. Just like the song states, “There’s a fire burning in my bones, I still believe. This is my fight song, take back my life, prove I’m alright song.” 

I know that I struggle, I know that I fall short, and I know that sometimes life gets in the way of our dreams. But, I also know that there is always a way out of those hard times, if we are willing to keep climbing the mountains and fight for what we desire most. It definitely isn’t easy, and some days will be harder to get through than others, but I know that if we keep fighting, and keep working to become stronger, we can and will get there. I have felt true strength in ways that are indescribable. If you feel like you need help, help will be waiting around every corner. Sometimes you just have to ask. You have a God who loves you. You are blessed beyond measure.

If I can make it up my mountains and through my never-ending struggles, you can too my friends. You can too. <3

Ps. If you're interested in a fun little flash mob involving the song I've talked about, feel free to watch this. ;) https://www.facebook.com/kortni.wells/videos/vb.100001962672097/1105489852859760/?type=3&theater

Battle of the Dark

So there’s a country song by Big and Rich that talks about telling the devil where to go. Now, I will say that I’m a religious person, and don’t take my religion lightly. I love the life that I lead, and my religion means pretty much everything to me. It’s how I make my hard decisions, and my every day decisions, and the decisions that affect my health and well being on a daily basis. The gospel is a part of who I am, and I am completely different person because of it. I couldn’t even imagine living my life without the gospel serving a purpose, and helping me to be better each and every day.

When you move away from home, suddenly its up to you to determine whether or not you are going to keep living by those values and things that you were taught from a young age under your parents’ wings. I’m not saying I had a perfect childhood. That doesn’t exist. No one is perfect and that’s why we’re here, but I will say that often it can be kind of tough to keep up with everything that is asked of you when suddenly your mom can’t be there to wash the levis you want to wear the next day, and you have to cook your own meals when you come home after a long day of school. My religion helps to keep me in check on a daily basis, and I am given a chance to communicate with a Father in Heaven who loves me and wants only the best for me. I read from the Bible and the Book of Mormon and am free to make my own decisions. When I make mistakes or don’t do the best that I can on a daily basis, I am given (more than one) second chance to improve, to do better, and to say I’m sorry for the things I may have done wrong on any given day.

Given this context, I am not perfect. I don’t always read my scriptures, or say my prayers, or do everything perfectly on any given day. But my Heavenly Father understands that, which is why he willingly gives more than one second chance. He loves me. He wants me to realize the mistakes I have made, and that those choices do have consequences, but he also wants me to know that one mistake or misjudgment is not the end. He lets me know that there are always chances to improve, and each day is a brand new start and beginning. A chance for me to do just a little bit better than the day before.

The other night brings back to my memory a specifically scary and interesting experience I felt like I needed to share. I had watched Once Upon a Time slowly before turning out the lights, saying my prayers and falling asleep. I felt pretty tired, and dozed off pretty soon after. Sometime in the middle of the night, I awoke. Whether from a nightmare, or real life nightmare ish type experience, I have no idea. All I remember of the experience is being incredibly scared, I’m in my bed with my blankets doing what blankets do best, by myself and I was surrounded by darkness. It was like Once scenes were coming to life in my room in the middle of the night, and I needed sleep so that I could function for class that coming day. Nothing that I did to calm myself really worked, and I couldn’t scream for fear of waking up my roommates, who had just as busy of schedules as I did, if not busier. I’m pretty sure I screamed in the actual nightmare, because uh, who wouldn’t. The darkness was almost trying to choke me out, and reduce me to nonexistence. I thought to myself a couple of times that if that was the way I would leave this world, then I would know that I had lived a decent life, and that things would be okay.

After a while of my fears not being calmed, I couldn’t help but think that this has to be how the devil gets to those who stop reading their scriptures, and turn away from God for a time, even if they are still going to church like me. Maybe it was a warning for me to get back on track, so that I can help others around me with their struggles and shortcomings. Finally, I convince myself to start humming and singing hymns both loudly and quietly in my head, with my blankets acting as a shield to keep me separated from the darkness. This went on for most of the rest of the night in my subconscious somewhat conscious? Mind and I honestly couldn’t wait to fully wake up and get away from the monsters in my head and in my room. When I awoke that morning, it took me a while to convince myself to open my eyes and to tell myself that I really was okay, nothing was out to get me, and I could go on with the rest of my day in peace. I silently said a prayer of thanks and of strength that morning for protection and for a God that was there to comfort me. I made a silent vow that I would do a better job of reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, so that I would have peace and serenity to follow me wherever I went. It’s only been a couple days, but I can already feel the difference. I was sitting in Institute Choir tonight, when we sang the primary song I am a Child of God. I couldn’t help but smile at remembering those words.

"I am a Child of God, and HE has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, help me find the way, teach me all that I MUST do, to live with him someday. I am a child of God, and so my needs are great, help me to understand his words, before it grows too late. "

To those who may be struggling, or losing faith, or anything else for that matter, there is a way back. There is a way to truth and light and happiness in this dark and sickening world. In a sense, I pretty much told the devil where to go, and you can too if he has a hold of you much like he had a hold of me. Hang in there. You can dispel the darkness, and you can find the light again. You just have to hold on a little longer, trust in the God who gave you life, and seek him out. He is waiting. He will help you. He will heal your broken heart.