The emotions coursing through my body are too many to count. The amount of times I've "counted my lucky stars" today is beyond my ten fingers.
I hardly know what to say.
Just that I'm thankful to be alive. And thankful that things weren't worse than they were in a very serious matter of fact moment.
Okay, I'll stop with the suspense.
I was involved in my very first car accident today, with me as the driver. It was scary, unexpected, fast-paced, and something I wouldn't wish upon ANYONE. But yet, today was a day of so many miracles, big and small, that I along with my parents were able to witness.
I was traveling from a friend's house in the city of Twin Falls. I stopped at a four-way stop, and carried on through, after stopping of course. From the corner of my eye, I saw a blue-silver car approach the stop sign going full speed ahead, that chose not to stop at her stop sign. She rushed through it, to hit the passenger side of my parent's Tahoe.
It spun me just enough, but I kept control of the car, glancing back to catch a glimpse of the action, and a grasp of what had just happened. I put the car in park, and waited for the lady who had hit me to come talk to me. I took the few seconds available to breathe, and assess the situation.
I felt incredibly grateful that I was able to handle everything so calmly, and to make it through the incident report and talking with the lady, the police officer, and the firefighters without completely breaking down. Not to discount the fact that I had a completely dead phone in the car, and used the witness's phone to call my mom.
Having been my first accident as the driver, I had every reason to be nervous, could have fought back tears, and could have been an emotional wreck, quite literally. I have to admit, I was a little bitter in the initial moments after she hit me.
But something inside of me helped my whole body remain calm. We even hugged each other, and the firefighters who assisted on the scene made jokes with me about my interesting life of being from Burley/Logan and visiting Twin Falls.
After what felt like a really long waiting period, the exchange of insurance information, an incident report, and instructions from the officer, I was given the okay to leave, while the lady was given further information.
Both the officer and the firefighters on scene told me my car was driveable. The other lady's was completely totaled, and I could tell she was a little distraught and frustrated with the situation, and the damage she had caused. I couldn't help but feel sad for her.
I waited a few more seconds, hugged the lady one more time, and drove away, ready to continue on with the rest of my tasks of the day. I could feel I was a little bit in shock, but continued to drive, hoping the shock would wear off as the day wore on.
I approached Target, the closest store I could think of, and walked around for a little bit, hoping the shakiness would go away. It didn't. I ran into a lady in my home ward, and began talking to her, with a slight tone of worry in my voice.
She eventually discovered I had been in an accident, asked me if she could do anything, held me close for a few moments, and told me I should call my mom, which I did for the second time. I thanked her, exited the store, and drove the few minutes to the mall, where I was to meet my mom.
My mom held me for a few moments while I cried, trying to muster the words and the voice needed to speak them.
Upon a brief moment of recollection, and a few staggered breaths later, I told my mom the car was still driveable. We parted ways, and I searched for the store that would hopefully be able to diagnose the issues my phone had been having for the past day. I felt pretty protected and watched over throughout the entire day, moreso than ever before.
As I finally decided to take myself to lunch, since my mom was still Christmas shopping with a friend, something told me to stray away from the beaten path, and eat in a typically less busy spot in town, so I chose Culver's. I enjoyed a nice lunch all by my lonesome, spending time alone in my own thoughts, and people watching those around me.
Getting ready to leave, I faced some unforeseen challenges, and struggled to know what to do. I continued driving, but this time, the Tahoe the police officer had mentioned was driveable began causing additional problems. I skidded across the road several times before the passenger side wheel stopped working altogether.
I experimented, driving a few more feet as the same issue occurred. I was on the opposite side of town from my mom, I still had a dead phone, and was past the point of being able to control my emotions, so I pulled over, turned off the car, and cried.
The tears just kept coming, the waterfall just wouldn't stop. I kept the radio on, humming along to the music to try to keep myself from screaming.
Quite frankly I wanted to crawl into the back seat and take a nap, but I knew I wouldn't wake up for a while, and my mom would eventually wonder where I was. So I opted for clutching the steering wheel, letting all my tears flow freely, and making a plan for what to do next.
The rest of the evening came in anti-climactic spurts. Upon diagnosis and a towing adventure, it was discovered that the car was in worse condition than the police and firefighters had anticipated. We were told that the expense of fixing the issue wasn't worth it, and the car was pronounced totaled.
My heart leapt into my stomach. Just what my parents needed to hear with less than a week until Christmas. My mom kept reassuring me that it wasn't my fault, we were due for a new car sooner rather than later, and that everything would be okay.
Although I'm still a little bit in shock, emotionally exhausted, and feeling every ounce of pain physically, all I can think about is the mini and mighty miracles I experienced throughout the day. I am reminded of how frail and fragile this life can be, and just how quickly life can flash before our eyes, sometimes in a matter of seconds.
I was blessed in so many ways, and can hardly believe I walked away from the accident with only minor injuries. I just keep telling myself that although I may not be doing well in every other aspect of my life, there is no shortage in the blessings department. My Heavenly Father definitely has that one taken care of.
My mom has expressed more than once how grateful she is that nothing too terrible happened to me, or to the other lady. I have to agree, we both got pretty lucky. My mom and I discussed the benefits of having a missionary out, and the protection that our family feels because of his example and his service.
She expressed that we have been given angels to watch out for us, which doesn't only pertain to families with missionaries, but everyone.
As I keep reminding myself of all the little as well as gigantic blessings that have come in just 24 hours, I just keep finding more of a reason to smile.
Like, how shortly after the accident, my all-time favorite Rachel Platten song came blasting through my radio, reminding me of Girls State.
Or how the "Angels Among Us" song from Alabama continues to echo in my head, or how even in this moment, over twelve hours later, how sanctifying the safety and security of being in my own home feels, with my mom retelling her version of the story, and the love she has for her children and her family.
Even the firefighters caught on to the theme, reminding the other driver that "Cars are replaceable, people aren't," when the other driver mentioned how sad she was to have caused the accident, losing her nice car.
I have so many reasons to be thankful for the smallest blessings which are mine. Hold your little ones close. Hug a stranger. Tell your parents how much you love and appreciate them. Take time to pray, and thank God for the little things. For one day, you will look back, and realize they were the big things. <3
