The Life of a College Kid

It's two days away from the first day of April. College students, especially Aggies, are dreaming of the days they can shut their text books for the summer months, and soak up all the sunshine. The loss of motivation is real, especially for me. I think of the projects I have three weeks to finish, the essays and articles that still need to be written, and the exams that I still have to study for. It's easy to feel a whole ton of anxiety in this time period. In fact, it's quite normal here in Universityland.

(I'm talking it pretty much consumes my every day life here)

As I walked down the hall of the student center today, I caught my financial aid advisor's attention, and she asked me how things are going, and to keep chugging along, that I would make it to the end of the semester.

I'm in the process of changing my major for the third time. And yes I've counted. There always seems to be a tinge of doubt when I change my major, and the same questions seem to follow me every time. Am I doing what I need to do for me? What am I going to do with the skills I learn? Will this benefit my future?

But something stops me in my thoughts.

I'm at the university I only dreamed of attending in high school. I've made it through three long and painful years. I've learned, I've joked. I've laughed, I've cried, (and a mixture of the two). I've dealt with loneliness, fatigue, and have lost a friend or two. Who am I to tell myself I can't make it through three more years if I have to?

The point to all this... is that I've LIVED. One more month doesn't define my college career. It means I'm one step closer to finding out who I'm meant to be. Who I want to be. For me. College is a stressful, emotional, tear-filled package. But it's also a time of self-discovery. Of joy, of love, of laughter and memories. It's the 2 am phone calls with your best friend that lives 4 hours away. The glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, when you feel like there isn't any possible way you could travel much further. That one institute message of hope from one day, that ends up becoming your saving grace to get you through the whole week.

This month is going to be a hard one. That I can almost for certain guarantee. But I know that when I close my textbooks, and walk away from the dog-eared notebooks, the hard nights and tears will all be worth it.

And that will make all the difference.

It Takes All Kinds of Melodies to Make a Glorious Symphony

For those who may not know what Girls State is, it is a program sponsored by the American Legion Auxiliary, for girls who have just finished their Junior Year of High School. Both Girls and Boys State are held in June one week after each other. Girls and Boys State is a once in a lifetime experience that attendants will not regret.

Delegates who attend Girls’ State are split up into cities upon arrival. Cities are where girls spend a majority of their time while at Girls State. Each city usually has a Senior Counselor and Junior Counselor to oversee the city, and to offer help where needed. Counselors are seasoned women who have either attended Girls State themselves, or have some connection to the American Legion Auxiliary. Junior Counselors are past delegates that have a strong desire to give back to the program, who are passionate in helping our future leaders become better. 

 

When asked to describe Girls State, its' pretty likely that one will get a variety of different responses from different people. It's kind of something you just have to experience in order to understand. Put simply, Girls State is a lot like life. You're thrown into an organized conference for a week with strangers, and have to learn to make the best of it. But just like the ride of life that we all experience, it makes us better. More capable. Stronger. Better leaders. And so much more. Girls State is all about developing a love of patriotism, self-worth, and a desire to make the world around you a better place. It’s making lifelong friends and memories that you will have for the rest of your life. It's about establishing connections that will be there to support and inspire you for the rest of your future.

Each year I have been able to learn something new that I can apply to my life at that exact moment in time, in whatever I am going through. Each director, or overall leader of Girls State is unique in her own way, giving life and vibrancy to the Girls State Program each passing year, with a desire to help shape the program into something even a little bit greater than it was the year before.

This year’s theme: “It Takes All Kinds of Melodies to Make a Glorious Symphony” was really cool because it was something I really hadn’t given much thought to before. I love how Kaylene Burtenshaw approached the subject of how we all come from different backgrounds, which gives us all individual harmonies and melodies to sing. In the end, we all come together as one symphony, shaped by the individual experiences we have each had.  I tried to remember that concept throughout the week in more detail than before. Each city was the name of a musical instrument, and from what I saw, each Counselor had a different way of explaining and incorporating their individual instruments into the week, which was actually really cool.

I had the opportunity to work with Emily Stearman(used to be Hathaway) who was actually the Girls State Governor my delegate year. I have looked up to her from the first time she addressed us. I loved the poise and grace that she possessed, and how she made each and every one of us feel loved and appreciated, even though she barely knew a little junior girl from Burley, Idaho. I loved every minute of preparation and was extremely excited to be able to work with Emily that I just let everyone know whenever I had a chance. I know Emily spent months praying for the girls that we would be blessed to lead over, and I know that I tried my hardest to think about how I could help the girls as well, even though we really knew nothing about them, except for their names and where they were from. Emily even came up with the idea of making dream catchers for our girls, and we spent the weekend before Girls State in Rexburg with a lot of feathers, glue, thread, and lots and lots of laughter.

I’ll just preface this by saying that this year of Girls’ State was unlike any others. I was super nervous for what this year would bring, considering it was technically my first year as a Junior Counselor. Luckily I had Emily to help keep me calm, and to be excited for me, and to remind me that this was going to be the best year ever. I believe she was right.

Once we got all settled in and had some staff bonding experiences at Red Robin and Texas Roadhouse, and the annual Rice Krispie Treat cereal breakfast, we were ready for our crazy and exciting week to start. Emily and I were witnesses to so many amazing moments, from watching the girls dance around to Stand by You by Rachel Platten, which eventually became our city’s adopted song for the week, to bonding moments rallying around each other after a big win or loss in elections, to our last night of vespers where we bawled for two hours, and everything in between. It was an amazing feeling to know that God had entrusted Emily and I with his beautiful daughters, and that they were placed in our care for a reason.

This year’s theme fit perfectly with Kaylene’s vision. With a smaller group of girls than we have had in the past, I feel like everyone was so close and had such a good time, which made saying goodbye at the end of the week really hard. Each of those girls came to Girls State for a different reason. Each came from a different background, with different experiences.  Each girl hopefully left with a resolve to do good in her community, to educate those around her on what she has learned, and a hope for a brighter future. The girls that are chosen from all over Idaho to represent their hometowns at Girls State are EXTRAORDINARY.

 

Of course you can't picture or even begin to describe Girls State without the random dance party aspect, and the talent that staff members have of bursting into song at any moment in time. (It's a gift I swear). Kaylene added another aspect to this, by announcing during our staff meetings that we would be doing a staff flash mob at some point during the week. We were skeptical but excited and after watching Kaylene's wicked choreographer dance moves, we knew it would be one to remember. Oh were we right. The delegates had no idea it was coming, and it still remains one of my favorite memories of this year's Girls State. We danced to "Fight Song" which struck a chord with me. It was great to bust a move and be okay making a complete fool of myself with my favorite people.  

It is also incredible how much the staff is able to learn from this experience as well. Each year that I have the opportunity to participate as a Staff Member at Girls State has given me lessons I will remember for the rest of my life. The mentoring that Junior Staff members are able to give to the delegates, as well as the coaching that Senior Staff members are able to give to Junior Staff and delegates is fascinating.

I love that the Idaho Girls State Program has a sense of tradition attached to it. I love the Opening Ceremony with the flag-folding presentation, and the singing of “God Bless the USA.” I love the Girls State Song, the memorable day at the Capitol and the Idaho State Veterans Cemetery. I love the individual traditions that the staff members have with each other that continue year after year. The rice krispie treat cereal breakfast, stuffing our faces with cupcakes and frosting, and the cute sentimentality of an individual trinket or vesper handout that has individual meaning and value. The Idaho Dinner with fancy dresses and lots of pictures, and Inaugaration where we get a chance to wish these beautiful girls good luck and farewell as they continue on their life journeyings.

This year was incredibly special for me to be able to feel what every other Senior and Junior Counselor has felt… the power that comes from influencing another woman for good. In the world we live in, sometimes it is hard to feel that we are able to make a difference in a society that is so focused on male domination, with little respect for females and the role that they can and will play in government. By being able to watch my city girls participate, for those that will potentially lead our government in the future. I love the sense of unity and power that unites us as women. It has been incredibly amazing to watch the girls that come through the Girls State Program, and the example that they set for others.

It was amazing for me to see that girls can rally together and help one another in their struggles. My city girls astonished me. Their accomplishments before coming to Girls State, the way in which they led our city, the friendships they formed with each other, and the unity that kept them in high spirits all week. The way that they all supported and encouraged one another, and so much more. At our talent night, they surprised Emily and I by performing a group dance to the song Stand By You, by Rachel Platten, complete with a slideshow and two of the girls running off the stage to come get us and enveloping us into a group hug with our entire city. If that doesn’t make you cry, I don’t know what will.

 

Girls State has touched my heart in many ways. But it has done more than that. It has changed my life. I am a better person because of my participation. I have learned so much about myself, my personality, my leadership traits and skills, and how to work with others. I have developed lifelong friendships that I hope will never disappear. I have listened to heart-warming stories of friendship and sacrifice, heartache and suffering, which only leaves me with one desire. To make others around me feel loved and cared for. Throughout the week that Emily and I had to spend with our 22 amazing girls, I couldn't help but feel grateful. There were so many little moments that touched my heart, and reminded me of the many reasons I continue to return every summer to help out with this program. I know that my part to play is but a small one. As I have made these little discoveries, I've watched so many others who have been to Girls State lots and lots of time, put hours and hours of work into one week, all because they have a desire to be a volunteer and to give back to a program that somehow touched each and every one of them individually as well. The fact of the matter is, we all have an important role to play. We are helping to cultivate future leaders.

 

Girls State is about more than the rumored “Political Bootcamp” title that is put off by others. It’s more than ice cream for every meal, and late nights that leave you delusional from a lack of sleep. It’s about the memories created, the friendships formed, and the knowledge that is gained by participating in something you may not know much about. In the end, it makes you a better person. It makes you more willing to love those who may be different from you. It gives you something to remember, long after that week is over.

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Girls State is something that will forever remain a part of me. I couldn’t imagine my life without the Girls State program. I thank my lucky stars every day to be surrounded by these wonderful amazing people, and for the light that they have given my life. I am a completely different person because of my involvement in the Girls State Program, and I couldn’t be more appreciative of the lessons I have learned and the things that I have been taught.  I will live the rest of my life in support of the Girls State program, and all that it stands for. These future leaders are teaching us, just as much if not more than we are teaching them.

It truly does take "All Kinds of Melodies to Make a Glorious Symphony."

 

The Most Tender of Mercies

School... College...Life... has all been very stressful, especially as of late. As midterms and the winter blues capture us, it seems like spring break is three weeks away, instead of two days. In these moments, it's sometimes hard to stay happy, smile at the strangers or friends we pass on campus, and keep a positive attitude. We are all facing hard days, but simply dwelling on our hard days only makes things seem more unbearable.

Recently I've had to take a step back, and reflect on the little things of my life, that have really become some of the biggest blessings. Today was one of those days that I felt deserved reflection.
Midterms have me more stressed than I'll get out. The test anxiety, the struggle to breathe, and the overwhelming fear of passing or failing looms over my head in a feeling that I just can't seem to get rid of.

But, I'm not here to make anyone more depressed, so I'll stick to the Sunny Side of things, or the positive for now. Like the crazy laughter of two college friends stuck in the library for way too long, way too late at night, when we just couldn't hold it in any longer, or the opportunity to listen to a Literature professor sing while playing the guitar.Or joking with classmates that the song we just listened to for an entire class period is now in fact stuck in our heads.

I have been working on an article for the school paper for about a week and a half before finally feeling that it was satisfactory enough to submit to my content manager and editor. I read the comments that my editor had made, in which she told me I had done a good job, and that my hard work showed through my writing. Those simple compliments gave me the needed push for me to submit my other article due today as well as stay motivated to keep studying for one of my midterms today, when I was ready to give in, and stop for the time being.

During our weekly Statesman meeting, our manager suggested the idea for a little activity to get our creative juices flowing, where we all picked our one favorite song for the moment. Our manager played a little bit of each one, and we were all asked to write about the stories behind the song we chose, and our personal connection if we so desired. The song I chose has been a personal favorite of mine since I found it not too long ago, entitled "Sunny Side Up" from Martina McBride. I couldn't help but smile as I wrote about the personality of the song, and how happy that it has made me since I found it. It was fun to take a little breather from the stresses of school and homework, and sit in a room full of people I respect, and laugh with. I love being able to catch up with my coworker and friend, Shelby when I'm having a hard time or need to relieve stress. Our conversations have cheered me up more than I can count, and I'm incredibly grateful that Girls State brought me to such an amazing girl.

As I waited for the bus on campus, I ran into a friend of mine I haven't seen in a while, and was able to catch up with her. She recently got engaged, and is always so good to sit and listen to whatever is happening in my life. And she offers some of the best advice. She even sat on a bus stop bench with me, just to listen to me, when she could have said she had things to get done and left me to my own thoughts.

Making the trip home on the bus is usually a time for me to reflect on the day, and I'll admit, for an awful lot of people watching. But tonight as I got on the bus to come home, I couldn't help but watch as a middle aged man and his two young daughters sat down just before I did. I have seen this man many times with his girls, but have never really had a chance to engage in conversation with them. As they sat down together in the seats just in front of me, I smiled. The couple sitting across the aisle from them talked to the little girls, while I watched the middle-aged dad in one of the best teaching moments I have ever heard. It caught my curiosity, and testing my people-loving nature, I finally got up the courage to mention to him how cute his girls were. He smiled at me, and proceeded with his teaching moment with his girls. They introduced themselves to me just before I got off the bus. It was probably the most I've smiled in a long while. I told them my name, and said have a good night. I grinned the entire way to my apartment. I couldn't help myself.

A little while after I had gotten home, there was a knock on my door. It just so happened to be a couple friends from my ward, who are ward mission leaders. We sat and talked for a little while, and in our conversation, a thought simply came to me that Heavenly Father was mindful of me, and knew what I needed at that exact moment, even when I didn't.

Even now as I am writing this, I can see the reasons I felt so impressed to share with someone other than myself. Life is hard. But even in the roughest of hours or days, there is always something more to learn. Look for the tender mercies within your personal life. There are so many wonderful things in life that we can be grateful for. Sometimes the littlest things take up the most room in our hearts and make the biggest difference. We simply just have to be willing to look.