I Want to Be A....

Ever felt a little lost... confused...like your life is headed in all the wrong directions and you just can't catch a break? Guess what? You're definitely not alone. I've probably said this a lot, but this journey of my college life has definitely not been an easy one. But hey, this blog is for the sharing of my life and college struggles, so this seems like the most appropriate place to do such a thing, right?!

As previously mentioned, I'm changing my major for the third time. The decision to change was kinda sorta brought about by this "lost" feeling I have been struggling with for the time being. When I came to Utah State, I was dead set on Political Science, regardless of what anyone else had to say. I had grown up with a love of government, legislature related issues, participated in a weekend 4-H Conference for four years, attended a week long government camp(as a delegate and a staff member) and even worked in the Idaho Legislature. I thrived on government related issues, and thought it was the coolest thing in the world. As I started into my Political Science classes, along with generals, I found that I really didn't love what I was learning, I became disinterested and less excited. The longer I thought about it, and the longer I tried to convince myself that it would be okay and that I would make it through, the more I found myself in a constant state of fear and worry that something else was out there for me, and I simply had yet to discover it.

During my second year of school, I started talking to a girl in the student media booth on what they call "Day on the Quad". She told me about their opening meeting, and of course that pizza would be there, I took them up on their offer, and sure enough showed up for free pizza, but also to find out what this so called student media group was all about.

Little did I know what I would be getting myself into just a few short weeks later, when I received an email inviting me to write for the Utah Statesman. I was somewhat confused, and didn't realize that the process of giving my email to them would result in an unpaid internship, and a fun chance to write and gain experience in something that I loved. As my time at the Statesman continued, I met so many amazing people through writing and because of the internship, that I wouldn't have otherwise gotten to know anywhere else on campus. I felt like I had finally found my niche.

That is... until Journalism just felt strange to me. It felt like something was missing. I had just met with an advisor the previous semester to figure out what I could do to switch my major, make sure I was on track to receive my Associates' Degree, and make Political Science more of a minor, with Journalism as my major. I had a goal of becoming either a Legislator or a Legislative Reporter, and it was a dream that consumed my thoughts almost daily. (It got to a point where I wanted to pack up and move to Boise, if that tells you how dead set I was upon it.) I had worked tirelessly to make sure that I would be able to get into the Journalism program after this current semester. Nothing could stop me.

Until... I was given the position of Staff Writer for Student Media in the Student Life Section in February. I was so excited to improve my writing, get paid for it, and to continue learning all that I could to be prepared for this coming semester in Journalism intensive courses. One day, my coworker Shelby and I were sitting in the office talking about how confused and stressed we were about life.

At a lull in the conversation, she mentioned that she had been looking into Agricultural Communication and Journalism. As soon as she mentioned that, it was like a light bulb was beaming inside my head. In my free time, I began researching the major, trying to decide how much it would be worth it to dive into the classes this fall semester, considering I was four semesters away from graduation in Journalism. After serious consideration, and a noticeably positive mood change, I took the plunge to email the advisor and see what my options could be. Walking to her office in the coming days made me incredibly nervous, but with early registration on the brink and no real knowledge as to what classes to take, I forced up the courage. I found that talking about the major gave me an excitement I hadn't felt before, either with Political Science, or Journalism.

Both the Journalism advisor and the Agricultural Communications advisor were super helpful and so nice. I felt a calming yet excited and energized feeling, amidst the anxiousness I had felt so much before. I loved being able to be open and honest with my new Journalism advisor, who shared with me that it's okay to take my time in college, and to take time to figure everything out.

It's okay to enjoy this time of being young, because one day it will come to me, and I'll know what it is that I should do. It was seriously probably some of the greatest advice I have received in my three years of college. My advisor also told me, who cares if it takes me three more years to complete my degree. She has completed 30 semesters, and still isn't sure what she wants to do, yet has two degrees, and a fascination for almost everything.

It was at that point that I discovered that I have a true passion for Agriculture, and writing. I want to do something to give back to the farm communities of Southern Idaho that have given so much to me. I want to make an impact for good on the community and those around me. I have a love of people and animals and a desire to share those stories with others.

My Farm Literature professor mentioned today, that we can all make a difference in the community. Of course I've been told this time and time again. But part of what she said really resonated with me and made me realize what role I really do have to play in this great big world. She mentioned that we all have an influence on agriculture, and just as much of an influence as agriculture has on us. She explained that we can all have an influence on policy making in the agricultural world, for those who may be illiterate so to speak of the agricultural world and communities in which we all live.

It was then that I knew that I wanted to make a difference, and be that voice for people who aren't able or willing to be that voice for themselves and their communities around them.

I am both a little nervous and extremely excited for this new endeavor, and hope that it will be a positive and joyful experience for me. I do not know what is to come, but I do know that I can hardly wait to see what lies in store! And just as my advisor mentioned, eventually I'll figure out what it is I'm meant to do. I can hardly wait to find out just what that is.

Onward and upward!