This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

Once upon a time, a girl had a dream. A dream that no one could really see before they got to know her, but once they watched her pen hit paper, they all knew exactly where she was headed and where her dreams would take her. She knew she had to take her passions and run with them, which is exactly what she did. The results are evident in her writing. Just ask her family, the people who inspired her the most.

 Okay, okay, so this sounds a lot like the post I wrote that was actually an essay for a Writer’s Scholarship earlier this year. What I didn’t update the blogging world on, was the fact that I ended up surprisingly winning the contest, and had the opportunity to attend the Idaho Writer’s League Conference, held in Burley with paid admission for a day. Boy was I ecstatic.
I don't even know if that's the right word, but I was so excited, nonetheless, and that's what you need to know.

The nerves hit when I walked into the Burley Inn Convention Center, and moments later heard my name announced to the general assembly of people who simultaneously began staring my direction. YIKES. So this was real life. I entered the room in which authors of all ages were assembled, and had to question if I was in the right room. The butterflies began forming in the pit of my stomach, but I graciously took my seat and tried to focus on what was going on all around me, which was hard I had to admit. I was really nervous. That’s all.

The rest of the day was filled with a keynote speaker, a delicious lunch, and great workshops that left me excited and ready to jump right back into the world of writing, and do even more than I had previously been able to do. There were awards, door prizes, and with the courteous asking of one gentleman in particular, I was asked to read my essay in front of everyone just after lunch. All I can say is thank goodness for 4-H and Ambassador's public speaking skills, for which without, I probably would have melted into non-existence. Luckily there was no fainting. It also felt good to be able to do some public speaking again, which I haven't had to do for a year or so, besides college presentations.
(If you haven't had a chance to read my essay yet, here's the link)! http://aspirationsoftheaverageaggie.blogspot.com/2015/06/writing-its-magical-thing_30.html
It was really cool to have some of the people from the conference approach me and tell me how well my essay was written, or how good of a job I did, and mainly give me encouragement to keep writing. Some even wanted to recruit me to the Writer’s League that day!  I felt really happy, and had so many great experiences from that day that are just amazing, I can’t begin to describe them all. But one I will include happened right after, when one woman motioned me over to her, and automatically began expressing her love for the 4-H Program, which is something I greatly acknowledged in my essay. I went away inspired, and full of love for these strangers I had just met literally less than 24 hours before. It is so amazing to me how people with one common goal can inspire one ordinary nineteen year old girl to become even more involved than she is, and to leave her heart full of joy, and hope, and her mind full of never ending dreams just waiting to come true. One day did all of that and more. It gave her more of a desire to better her community, to reach out to those around her, and to go forth with a strong conviction to accomplish her dreams. If every day of my life were like that, I’m almost positive I wouldn’t ever have any desire to give up on the things I am seeking for most, including my college degree or even my current career path.

I think we all have some of the Idaho Writer’s League in all of us, in different ways. We all have a desire, or hopefully all have a desire, to go out and do something more with our lives than we may currently be able to do. We all have dreams, and sometimes lack ideas or even resources of how to make them a reality. Such is life, it happens, and then we move on and try again. We have our own sounding boards to throw out ideas, to listen to each other, and to give feedback on how to improve. We just have to know how to find them.

You’re going to be beaten down. You’re going to be told that your dreams stink, or you may lack resources or even smarts of how to accomplish those big dreams inside of your head. It’s going to be a work in progress most days. It’s going to take some back tracking and re-evaluation. On a consistent basis. The fact is, if you really want to get there, you’ll get there. This life wasn’t meant to be a piece of cake. (I mean… that would be cool and all, but it’s just not going to be a piece of cake. And plus, cheesecake is better, and no one can deny it. Just saying. ) Keep on going. Keep trying. I have faith in you. You will eventually reach your destinations, and your biggest dreams will come true. Mine are just beginning to come true, but with determination, they are going to. I’ve tried, and I’ve failed, and I’ve dusted myself off. It may not have happened right away, but like I said nothing ever does.

What are you waiting for? Your greatest of dreams are waiting! Go Forth and Accomplish Much! You deserve it!

For the Love of Boise

So, as some of you may know, I was given an opportunity to attend an Idaho Writer's Conference a couple weekends ago, and one of the classes I took was on Effective Composition.(I will be sharing a blog post about this soon!) Literally forty-minutes of the class was a free write where we wrote about something with elements from the class, and applied it in the writing. One prompt, so to speak, was of a place. Now, I could have written about anything really, as I have several places that have made an impact upon my life and bring back a lot of nostalgia, like all the time, or anytime I see pictures. I have already written something on this particular place/experience, but knew that I could improve, so this is what I came up with during the class that I found particularly inspiring. 

The feeling of busy-ness and speed surrounded me at every curve. The traffic whirled past me, and I had to wonder where in the world I was, and how in the world I had gotten there. This unfamiliar yet familiar piece of ground I had arrived on, felt so new and yet held so many amazing memories that I couldn’t help but remember and fantasize over for the future of returning to. Now I was finally back, ready to take on a whole new and exciting experience with nine other people I didn’t know.

The place was buzzing with activity, but yet, seemed so calm and peaceful on the inside, completely opposite from the activity happening on the streets around me. I take a deep breath of fresh air into my lungs and say, “Okay, let’s do this.” Six short weeks later, after my time here is done, I look around me at the intricate designs and details that I haven’t been able to fully look at until now. A smile crosses my face as I recount memory after memory that occurred here. I could barely hold back the tears. As I watch the last of my colleagues enter the elevator doors, I sigh with sadness. I make my way down the long staircase to the car waiting for me. I longingly gaze back towards the big cement building. Amazement surrounds me as I start to wonder, “Will I have the chance to be back in this beautiful town? Will I ever be able to associate with these wonderful people again? Will my heart still feel the same when the memories have faded and time has gone by? What will our reunion be like? When will I ever get a chance to reminisce and come back? What will others remember about the service I was able to render?

So many questions fumble around in my brain as I buckle my seatbelt and I begin driving away. I catch a single tear fall from my cheek, and brush it away. “I’ll be back someday,” I whisper silently into the void. “I won’t forget my time here. I most certainly can’t forget you…”

The laughter that echoed through the walls when Aaron did something funny, Hunter’s beautiful piano skills, the long debates between Jacob and Anna, the screams from the basement when Slender man jumped out from a computer screen, Kaitlyn’s sarcastic comments to clear the air, the smells of food always present in some secret room in the Capitol, Samantha’s protective goldfish face, Hannah’s artistic skills, Jordan’s smile, Allison’s blonde moments learning how to work a microwave. The many tours we had the opportunity of attending, the endless pager beeps of new tasks waiting to be completed, the magical secret entries only opened with special permission, the prohibited sound of candy wrappers opening on the Senate Floor during session. Senators busy at work, passing notes, security guards on high alert, the sound of the gavel hitting the Lieutenant Governor’s pulpit, and everything in between.

I look back on my time spent in Boise as a blessing, not a curse. Not just a full time job, but a rather a self-fulfilling period of my life where I found true joy. I still find myself thinking about the “Good Old Days”, wishing those opportunities could have extended into eternity. To this day I will always hold dear those memories, the tender experiences, and especially the people, in my heart forever.

Such an experience cannot simply be forgotten. Until next time, Boise. 

Spiritual Prompting Saturdays

My best friend. The one boy who continuously holds the coveted key to my heart. Sure, I have other guy friends. They are just as much apart of my crazy life as anyone else.  This one just happened to be the first one to grab the key to uncover what was held inside. (Sounds like an eerie Once Upon a Time episode, but this one isn't as dark, I promise).

I love him AND all his crazy antics. I love him FOR all his crazy antics.

Kaleb and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. Okay... it hasn't been forever, but it feels like it's been forever. Ever since I met Kaleb, I have always enjoyed his company. He is there to listen, give encouragement when necessary and lift me up. He makes me want to be a better person, in every sense of the word. More patient, more understanding, more loving, more calm and everything in between. Our relationship, between the two of us, was nothing short of perfection. . He respected me, he loved me, and treated me like a queen. Like his queen.

After we broke up, I prayed often for him to find peace, for myself to accept the changes, and for peace. I received an impression and my Patriarchal Blessing two months later and the words of that blessing were exactly what I needed to hear. I was impressed to know that I should not give up on him. The exact words of the impression, "He would need me, and I would need him." I have actually had this impression more than once since that time. This impression seems to say, "You don't know everything just yet, but you will soon." You'll see why in a little while.

It doesn't matter how many times I hear the words, "I'm Sorry" or the sleepless nights I clutch the blanket he gave me for Christmas so many years ago. I can't count the times I have heard the words "You deserve better. Keep searching, your prince is out there, or don't give up hope, your happily ever after will come." My mind knows, and thinks logically most of the time, but my heart on the other hand, will not be convinced.

I still love HIM. I love his smile, his charm, his sparkling(yet shy) personality. There's something about him that makes me want to just hang on a little bit longer. Often, I find myself wanting to give up the dating game, and just focus on myself for awhile, and who I want to become. But then, I turn my thoughts around, and the prompting returns. "Don't give up. What you are looking for is literally waiting right around the corner. You just have to get there."  Life isn't always easy. Sometimes I regress, or fall short. But, I'm still learning. I'm still growing. I'm still progressing, and that's all I can ask for.

At the end of last summer, when Kaleb was getting ready to leave on an LDS mission to Canada, I was really worried things would be a lot different between us in two years. It took a lot of convincing to tell me everything was going to be okay, and I wouldn't lose him for good. Two weeks later, he was home on medical leave, right before he was supposed to fly to Canada.  I found out the week before I moved to college, and was devastated. Mostly I was worried for him, but was also sad I wouldn't be able to be support for him and his family. Needless to say, I offer a lot of prayers for him and his family, on a consistent basis. I hold a special place in my heart for them. They mean the world to me. As I face hard challenges, this prompting resurfaces by saying, "Don't give up. Keep going. Just hold on a little bit longer."

I also had an experience today that changed my heart, and gave me a lot of hope. Something that stuck out to me in this morning's session of the LDS General Conference was the desire to forgive those in need of forgiveness. It has been something on my mind for quite a few years, but parts of this amazing concept have been relatively new territory for me. I just watched a Mormon Message called "Lift" that really hit home for me the importance of service and reminded me a lot of my dear friend Kaleb.  Part of Sister Neill F. Marriott's talk was on the condition of our hearts. I felt so much power overcome me, as she said, "You can Let this Go." I knew she was getting direction for me right from the Lord. I might have chuckled a little bit, mainly because I knew I needed to hear those words,  but I know those words were inspired and were most certainly meant for me. Those gentle, sweet words remained with me throughout the day, and haven't left my mind since.

I opened my scriptures right after saying a prayer for the spirit to be with me during this session of General Conference(Saturday Afternoon) and fell upon Alma 11-12 and read two versus in particular with stronger resonation within my heart, and within my soul. The versus were of Chapter 11:44-45. The most powerful phrases that stuck out to me. "Everything shall be restored to its perfect FRAME, they can die no more; their spirits uniting with their bodies, never to be divided. The whole becoming spiritual and immortal."This simple, yet complex scripture brought so much more meaning into my life. I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers, and listens to His children if they come unto Him. I know he listens to the desires of our hearts, even if they are unspoken, just like mine was.

I often question amidst Kaleb's struggles how  he remains so optimistic and hopeful, with so much opposition that he faces on a daily basis.. He is a spiritual giant in my eyes. He lives on continuously in perfect faith. God gave him to me for a reason, and eventually by following those sweet promptings, I will come to know of His place in my life. It may require patience and faith, but it will be worth the wait. I just have to "hold on a little bit longer."