God's Awareness of Our Needs

God is super aware of our needs, even when we don't think he is.

I've been a part of the Girls State program in Idaho for 6 years now, and what an incredible 6 years it's been. I couldn't imagine my life without such an amazing program. My life has been changed, and I'd like to think I've been a part of that change for many other girls I've had the opportunity to mentor.

I'd managed to convince myself that I would be that forever media co-chair or forever Junior Counselor that would stick to the position that I knew best, and wouldn't ever have to level up. (even though I knew that would never be true.)

I remember emailing the director for this year, and as she asked me which areas I wanted to work in, I told her I would love to be a Junior Counselor or Counselor in Training. She told me she would try to make it work, but she kept telling me that I would most likely be a counselor this year. I had a really hard time believing that someone with as little Junior Counselor experience as I had would be a counselor so soon. I couldn't believe they were going to put me in charge of a whole city of girls. It's quite a charge for someone so young. In fact it took a whole lot of the Girls State community standing behind me cheering for me to help me realize that I could do it. That I had power and that I would be able to help these girls.

It wasn't until I got the phone call yesterday that I realized this was something I could do. That I'd had the skill set and drive all along to be able to help these girls realize their strength that I didn't think I possessed before. I feel connected to a group of girls I haven't even met yepotential.The stress and anxiety I'd been feeling for so long melted away. The feelings of love that followed were incredible. I felt at peace. I felt like I had been given a strength I didn't possess before. I started feeling at peace. I feel so much love for them, and I won't even know their names until right before Girls State this June.

I share this because I feel it connects on a deeper level to my personal life as well. My bishop and his sweet wife led a really good discussion in our ward Relief Society today, that focused on the devotional given by Elder Uchtdorf last month to the young adults of the church. I hadn't read it before church, but the comments that were shared by Bishop and Sister Nielsen were so good, I knew that the rest of the talk would be one I definitely needed in my life at this exact moment. So I came home after an emotional day of church, and listened to the talk. I was right. It was exactly what I needed.

Elder Uchtdorf shared many personal insights of how our lives and our situations are connected dot by dot. The dot we are currently at in life is connected by dots of our past experiences. One dot by one dot, we find that the places we've been and the experiences we've had lead us to our future dots, and the dots we are currently at in our life journey.

I found this to be particularly accurate of my leadership journey and why Girls State has greatly impacted me getting there. Meeting one particular counselor who told me about the Junior Counselor program, and had me hooked from the first sentences. My experiences as a Media Co-chair for so many years, coupled with my year and a half of Junior Counselor experiences under the direction of two awe-inspiring counselors, led me to this point.

I've been prepared all along for this specific experience. I've been shaped and molded in all of my experiences, up to this point. I just had to wait for God to shift the little things into place at the right time and in the way he needed to. <3

Let Go and Let God...

A couple weeks ago, I downloaded the Mormon dating app known as "Mutual". 

I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking the exact same thing. I've been against it for quite some time, and didn't want to admit that it would be able to do anything for me, or that I would get anything out of it. Regardless, I decided to try it. 

Update: After two weeks, I deleted it. Nothing much happened, but I did have a rather intriguing conversation with one guy I matched with. Luckily it has been something I have already been thinking quite a bit about, so it just added to the conversation. I talked quite a bit about where I've come from, and why I believe some of the things I believe. It was honestly a rather intriguing conversation. He is a convert to the church, and I was actually surprised I was able to open up so much and tell him what I told him. 

The next day, he stopped talking to me. Shocker. I was sitting in church, feeling sad. Alone. Upset. About what, I'm not exactly sure. It had nothing to do with that guy. I simply just felt lost. I was ready to spend the rest of the day in that state of being. 

Almost at once, in that sacrament meeting, a phrase popped into my head. "I am the Gardener here. I know what I want you to be." It was then that I realized that God heard the silent pleadings of my heart, and reminded me that he had never left me. He was there all along. 

I went home and found the talks that quote the story of the currant bush, which is an incredible talk I would highly recommend to anyone struggling or going through a hard time. 

It was such a beautiful talk, and also extremely pertinent to my life and situations as of late. 

I have to admit I've been pretty focused on dating, and what could go wrong. I've had many so-called adventures in the land of love. Not every situation has been full of sunshine. Not every situation has been the happy-go-lucky experience I'd always imagined it could be. But recently, I learned a lesson I find to be pretty important, and that is to just GIVE UP. 

Now, I'm not a quitter. But I'm also not talking about giving up in the sense that everyone might think. I'm talking about giving up my selfish desires, and replacing them with the LOVE God has for us. For me. I started to recognize that His desires for me are more important than my selfish desires for myself. 

I tell myself often that I'm just going to "Let Go, and give it all to God." It's just that easy, right? 

As Jim Carey says, "WRONGO." 

I can't count the number of times I've wrestled with this. I've been so happy for others in their situations. But in the process I began to realize that I'd lost myself in the midst of being happy for everyone else. 

But that changed after reading the talk about the little currant bush. 

I took a step back, and really started to pay attention to myself and how God feels about me. I began to see a shift in my attitude. I discovered I'm happy in my own shoes. 

It's amazing what can happen when you let GO and let GOD take control. I have started to see things I haven't seen in myself before in some pretty big ways. It really is important to TRUST GOD and TRUST the process. 

We have so many plans and goals and desires for our lives, but it really is up to the TRUST we have for our Heavenly Father to help guide us. He can offer us more than we could ever imagine for ourselves. All we can do is learn to trust that his plan is greater than ours ever could be. It's all about the process. 

Let Go and Let God take control. 

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2012-01-014-the-will-of-god?lang=eng